Wow, I’ve been sick, but I’m pretty much back (still have a bit of a headache) and I’m trying to make up for lost time. So here goes nothing:
Walt Whitman is Porn.
Ok, maybe not porn per se, but definitely a slightly-more-than-necessary sex scene in an indie film. You know, like its not smutty or anything, and perhaps even develops the story or strengthens the character’s emotional bonds and allows for personal growth, but the scene kind of carries on for a bit more than you’re comfortable with, and although tasteful and artsy, has a few too many body parts than you figured would be in it when you and your friends decided which film to see while staring at movie posters in the lobby of the Ritz.
Its not bad or naughty or anything, just somehow off-putting.
O Hymen! O Hymenee!
O hymen! O hymenee! why do you tantalize me thus?
O why sting me for a swift moment only?
Why can you not continue? O why do you now cease?
Is it because if you continued beyond the swift moment you would
soon certainly kill me?
See? Surpising. Not bad, I just would have appreciated an NSFW warning as I listened to the mp3 on my iPod in my car with the windows down.
And that wasn’t even the worst best part. He goes on for a while in From Pent-Up Aching Rivers on what might as well be a Harlequin Romance Novel. It had everything but “heaving bosoms” and Fabio on the cover.
I wonder, did the teenagers during the Civil War and Reconstruction take their girlfriends to Make Out Point in their dad’s horse-drawn-carriage and recite Walt Whitman poems instead of seeing slasher flicks at drive ins (or more modernly, watching Netflix/Hulu/OnDemand on thier parent’s couch)? Did kids during this time huddle around in bedrooms, locker rooms, or the middle of the woods in towns across America peering over someone’s dad’s Leaves of Grass? Poor bastards, life must have been hard before the Internet.
And with that, I leave you with fun links:
(Everything is SFW as long as your you have headphones and an employer with a sense of humor)
Porn for the Blind
“The Internet is for Porn” Song – Avenue Q